Anoraks Assemble

They say the geek shall inherit the Earth. I’m counting on it.

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Just a random woman who loves horror, sci-fi, and anything a bit weird.

  • Sapphire and Steel (1979-1982)

    Sapphire and Steel was a British supernatural / fantasy TV series which was broadcast on ITV between 1979 and 1982.

    There were 34 episodes in total, divided into six separate stories, or “Assignments”.

    The focus of the programme was on Sapphire (played by Joanna Lumley), and Steel (played by David McCallum), a pair of ‘operatives’ whose job it was to guard time. This explanation may sound a little vague but it keeps in with the whole vibe of the show. Sapphire and Steel was utterly baffling at the best of times, and tended to leave more questions than answers. It was also eerie, atmospheric and highly original.

    I watched this between the ages of six and nine, didn’t really understand what was going on, but was hooked all the same.

    Our heroes were also assisted by other characters, including Lead, and most notably Silver (played by the fabulous David Collings).

    If you speak to anyone who is a fan of the show, inevitably they will talk about the ‘haunted railway station’ episode – Assignment 2.

    A parapsychologist – the quite wonderful Gerald James – investigates ghostly sighings at an abandoned railway station, and the scene is set for an extremely creepy tale involving dead soldiers, airmen, and a quite horrifying conclusion, as Steel shows his cold side. (Steel by name, Steel by nature).

    Yes, it is slow-moving, but the atmosphere is off the scale and it leaves us with a few disturbing moments. Apart from the finale of Assignment 2, the story of the faceless man and the lost girl in the photograph is difficult to forget (if you know, you know).

    Both Lumley and McCallum are utterly believable in their roles. I really did think that Sapphire could ‘take back time’. The series ended on a frustrating cliff-hanger and it seems as though there were no clear plans for a new series.

    Sapphire and Steel is the type of show which, sadly, we are unlikely to see again. I do not think modern audiences would commit to watching such a slow-moving, talky drama, which is a shame, because this is a superior piece of work and stands out as one of the most original dramas of the last 50 years or so.

  • The Quatermass Xperiment (1955)

    The Quatermass Xperiment is a 1955 Hammer film directed by Val Guest. It was based on the 1953 BBC serial of the same name.

    Three astronauts are sent into space in a rocket designed by Professor Quatermass. The rocket crash lands back on Earth, and only one astronaut – the unfortunate Victor Carroon – is still on board. Very quickly he begins mutating into an alien creature.

    As the authorities try to discover exactly what happened, the doomed Carroon escapes and it is left to Quatermass and Inspector Lomax to try and track him down.

    The Quatermass Xperiment was a huge success, and I can understand why. It taps into the 1950s post-war paranoia, atomic bombs and the like. Should we be messing with things we do not understand?

    Also, the make up on Victor Carroon is quite incredible. Even early on in the film he almost looks like a walking corpse. In fact, there is something quite Frankenstein’s monster about him after he escapes from the hospital. His lumbering, shambolic, confused demeanour is actually quite heartbreaking.

    There are a couple of memorable scenes, such as the horrific moment Quatermass and co watch the recovered footage of what exactly happened inside the doomed capsule. Also, the scene at the zoo when Carroon is nearby. The animals just know something is wrong.

    The casting is okay. Brian Donlevy is fine as Quatermass, but not terribly likeable, whilst the likes of Jack Warner and Lionel Jefferies offer good support.

    But this is Richard Wordsworth’s film as the tragic Carroon, and it is his performance which stays long in the memory

  • Island of Terror (1967)

    Island of Terror is a 1967 horror film from Planet Film Productions, directed by Terence Fisher.

    On yet another remote island, scientists are doing covert experiments to try and discover a cure for cancer. But, as we all know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and the scientists end up creating mysterious creatures – dubbed Silicates – who kill their victims by injecting a bone-dissolving enzyme into their bodies.

    Before anyone can say, “Ouch, that’s got to hurt,” enter our heroes, Drs. Brian Stanley and David West (and not forgetting West’s useless girlfriend, Toni), who must try to decipher exactly what is going on, and more importantly, can the Silicates be stopped.

    Meanwhile, islanders are being bumped off left, right and centre, and their death scenes are accompanied by a rather gruesome, slurping sound, something similar to a child sucking their milkshake too loudly through a straw.

    The unfortunate victims are left as a blob of flesh and nothing else, which might look a bit silly but I think is quite effectively done.

    Peter Cushing is as believable as ever as Dr. Stanley. To be honest, Cushing could tell me the sky was pink and the moon was made out of cheese and I would believe him.

    Edward Judd is okay as Dr. West, but I find him a bit irritating. I am not sure if it is the way the character is written or the actor himself (there are plenty of stories out there about him having an inflated ego), but his manner here just annoys me.

    There is also good support from Eddie Byrne and Niall MacGinnis (of Night of the Demon fame). Admittedly, Carole Gray has a thankless task as West’s girlfriend, Toni Merrill, but my goodness, she is annoying. Apart from commandeering her father’s helicopter to fly them to the island, she serves no purpose except to scream and tell everyone how frightened she is.

    I know this was the way female characters were treated back then but it is just so tiresome.

    To be fair, the film is nothing special and we have seen it all before, but there are a few nice atmospheric moments. We can easily guess who is going to live and who is going to die, but it is all good, silly fun nonetheless.

  • The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973)

    The Horror at 37,000 Feet is a 1973 supernatural / horror TV movie starring Chuck Connors and William Shatner.

    The plot revolves around a flight between London and New York which is carrying an altar stone from an old English abbey. Before long, the passengers and crew are faced with strange demonic forces emanating from the baggage hold.

    A bit like flying easyJet.

    It turns out that the altar stone is haunted by druids who are unhappy at being uprooted from their home. In fact, they are not just unhappy, they are totally pissed. The only way to placate them is by offering a human sacrifice.

    Definitely like flying easyJet.

    But fear not, help is at hand in the shape of William Shatner’s drunk ex-priest, Kovalik, which is handy because when a passenger begins reciting Latin, he is able to translate that she is actually quoting a black mass.

    Absolutely like flying…okay, yes, you get the picture.

    I remember seeing this film when I was a kid and being absolutely terrified by it. But let’s not beat about the bush here, it is awful. It is typical 1970s fare, with the usual rag-tag assortment of actors and characters we would see in any disaster movie of this era.

    And talking of the cast, they all take it very seriously, and I am not sure if that is a help or a hindrance. Chuck Connors is in tough guy mode as the captain whilst Paul Winfield adds a touch of class as a passenger who, handily, is a doctor.

    And then we have William Shatner, never the most convincing of actors, as the ex-priest, spouting endless profound comments about the futility of faith. And yet, he is the one who steps up bravely and pays the ultimate price.

    Also, there is such a clever moment when, towards the end, Kovalik is walking down the plane, flaming torch in hand, in order to confront the ‘enemy’. For a brief moment we see him in his priest garb, as though he has suddenly regained his faith, before the next scene he is back in civilian clothes. It is such a neat touch and quite unexpected.

    Somewhere, amongst the over-acting, stereotypical characters and pointy 1970s collars, there is actually quite a clever little story, and it is just a shame it was so poorly executed.

  • The Mad Death (1983)

    The Mad Death is a 1983 BBC drama, based on the novel of the same name, about the effects of a rabies outbreak in the U.K.

    Episode one sets the scene nicely, with a French woman successfully smuggling her cat into the U.K. Unbeknownst to her, her feline friend has already been infected with the killer disease. It soon gets loose, is run over and then feasted upon by a fox.

    Meanwhile, cheating ex-pat Tom Siegler – played by cult TV legend Ed Bishop – comes across said fox and, for reasons known only to him, decides to take it home.

    As you can imagine, this does not end well.

    Episode two concerns the public reaction to news of the outbreak and the decision to impound all dogs. The public do not take kindly to man’s best friend being locked up.

    Episode three turns into a bloodbath, with a decision taken to slaughter all animals to try and stem the outbreak.

    As someone who grew up in the ’70s and ’80s, the threat of rabies was everywhere, and this drama certainly taps into those fears. The scenes in episode one where Ed Bishop’s Siegler is ill in hospital are some of the most horrific moments I have ever seen in a TV series, and his eventual passing comes as a blessing.

    Yes, the series looks a bit dated but the story is strong, although by episode three it slightly fizzles out and dissolves into melodrama, thanks to the love triangle between Hilliard, Anne Maitland and her annoying husband.

    The acting is fine. Richard Heffer, familiar to cult TV fans for his role in 1970’s Survivors, is convincing as the heroic Hilliard, and Ed Bishop is memorable as the unfortunate Tom Siegler.

    The Mad Death is very much a product of its time. A time when our TV channels were full of Public Information Films warning us of the dangers of rabies (and quicksand, but that’s another story). And a time when TV channels would take a risk and make a drama which was slightly out of the ordinary.

    Sadly, I think those days of risk-taking are long gone.

  • One Cut of the Dead (2017)

    One Cut of the Dead is a 2017 Japanese horror comedy, written and directed by Shin’ichiro Ueda, and based on the stage play, “Ghost in the Box!” by Ryoichi Wada.

    The film is broken down into three distinct parts. In part one, we join a film crew on location at an abandoned water filtration plant, as they are making what is clearly a low-budget zombie flick. The film is overseen by Director Higurashi, who is becoming increasingly frustrated by his poor actors.

    During the shoot the cast and crew are attacked by real zombies, but Higurashi insists they carry on filming. (The Japanese title literally means, ‘Don’t Stop the Camera’)

    In the second part of the film we flash back to before the shoot began, where we learn more about the personal lives of the cast and crew.

    But is everything quite as it seems?

    Well of course it isn’t!

    I am not going to spoil part three, suffice to say it is quite hilarious and one of the most ingenious pieces of filmmaking I have ever seen.

    There are so many moments which pay off beautifully in the last act, and as soon as you finish watching it you will want to go back and see it again.

    The acting is wonderful right across the board, but special mention must go to Takayuki Hamatsu as the put-upon Director Higurashi.

    One Cut of the Dead is utterly hilarious and, weirdly, very uplifting, so if you haven’t seen it before, go watch immediately. And if you have seen it, well, you just know it’s about time you watched it again.

    Very bloody, very sweary and very, very funny, this is a film simply not to be missed.

  • Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972)

    Dracula A.D. 1972 was the seventh Hammer film featuring Dracula and marks Christopher Lee’s sixth outing as the Count. We also have Peter Cushing returning as Van Helsing for the first time since 1960’s The Brides of Dracula.

    A prelude to the main story sees Dracula and Lawrence Van Helsing face off on top of a coach in London’s Hyde Park in 1872. Van Helsing successfully stakes the Count but is mortally wounded and dies shortly after. Fast-forward 100 years and we meet Lorrimer Van Helsing, expert in the occult, and his granddaughter, Jessica.

    Jessica hangs out with some very dubious people, none more so than Dracula groupie Johnny Alucard (it’s not subtle) who bears a striking resemblance to one of Dracula’s followers in the 1872 prelude.

    He decides to try and liven things up by performing a ritual to resurrect the long-dead Count and before anyone can say, ‘Dracula has risen from the grave’, Caroline Munro is sacrificed and all hell is literally let loose.

    To say this is a silly film is quite the understatement because it is utterly bonkers, however it is an absolute hoot from beginning to end.

    Acting wise, Peter Cushing is as believable as ever as the modern-day Van Helsing, whilst Christopher Lee, who has very little to do, looks utterly fed up.

    Christopher Neame, a familiar face on UK TV in the 1970s, appears terrifying as Alucard, however this illusion is shattered as soon as he speaks. Michael Coles is very good as Inspector Murray, who makes a welcome return in 1973’s The Satanic Rites of Dracula. I think I am correct in saying that he was the only person, apart from Cushing and Lee, to play the same character more than once in one of Hammer’s Dracula films.

    Incidentally, this film makes The Satanic Rites of Dracula look like a masterpiece.

    Go in with low expectations, a very stiff drink, and you should love it.

    And remember, “Dig the music, kids.”

  • Night of the Big Heat (1967)

    Night of the Big Heat is a 1967 sci-fi horror film directed by Terence Fisher.

    The basic premise of the film is simple. A small island off the British coast is experiencing a mysterious heatwave, despite the fact that everywhere else it is wintertime.

    In the middle of this we find married couple Jeff and Frankie, (played by real-life couple Patrick Allen and Sarah Lawson). Jeff, an author, hires a secretary who just happens to be a woman he once had an affair with.

    So far so Love Island, but enter Christopher Lee, looking as furious as ever, as a mysterious scientist who spends his time setting up cameras and taking soil samples. Clearly he knows what is going on, but he is not telling.

    Suddenly, people start hearing a mysterious humming sound and end up dying in bizarre circumstances. The townsfolk, along with Peter Cushing in a cameo role (who, incidentally, never takes his jacket off, despite the 90 degree temperature), must band together to try and stop what we soon discover is an alien menace.

    The whole premise of ‘something mysterious running amok on a remote island’ is a familiar one. Indeed, Planet Films Productions’ earlier Island of Terror is very similar to this story.

    I think the problem with Night of the Big Heat lies in the love triangle between Jeff, Frankie, and Angela (who spends a lot of time in her bikini and rubbing ice cubes on her chest – I mean, whatever floats your boat, okay). It slows the story down and I cannot shake the feeling that the alien invasion is a minor inconvenience to Jeff, who would much rather be getting his leg over.

    Still, the cast is decent. Patrick Allen and his booming voice are very commanding, and Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing are as dependable as ever. The remainder of the cast is filled out with familiar British character actors, such as Percy Herbert, William Lucas and Kenneth Cope, and they all offer good support.

    As happens so often, the female characters are poorly served. They simply exist to look pretty, have men fall in love with them, and scream a lot.

    Different times, I guess, but very frustrating all the same.

    Night of the Big Heat isn’t one of the best, but it is perfectly fine and still worth 90 minutes of anyone’s time.

  • REC (2007)

    REC is a 2007 Spanish found-footage horror film, co-written and directed by Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza.

    The film follows reporter Angela, and her cameraman Pablo, who are covering the nightshift at a Spanish fire station as part of a TV series called, “While You’re Sleeping”.

    During the night, Angela and Pablo accompany the fire crew on a call to an apartment building, and very quickly it becomes evident that bigger forces are at work. Angela and Pablo end up trapped inside the building with the fire crew and some very frightened residents.

    And then it turns nasty, and I mean nasty.

    The very first time I watched REC, 15 minutes or so in I was convinced it was not my thing and I was going to hate it.

    How wrong I was!

    From the shocking moment Firefighter Alex is thrown over the staircase, the tension is cranked up until, by the end, it is almost unbearable to watch. The running time is only 78 minutes, so once it starts, it just does not let up.

    Also, the enclosed setting creates a wonderful feeling of paranoia and claustrophobia, which makes the film a nerve-shredding experience from start to finish.

    The acting here is perfectly fine. I think the nature of the film means that nobody really stands out, although, in saying that, the minor characters do make an impact, to the extent that we do care about them and we worry as to what is going to happen.

    I cannot really put into words how much I love this film. It is probably my favourite horror film of recent years, definitely the greatest ‘found-footage’ film, and one of the best horror films of all-time.

    If you haven’t yet seen REC then what on earth are you waiting for?

  • The Omega Factor (1979)

    The Omega Factor is a short-lived BBC drama which first appeared in 1979.

    Tom Crane is an investigative journalist who appears to possess untapped psychic powers. Whilst investigating the death of his wife, who perished in a mysterious car accident, he unwittingly becomes involved with Department 7, a secret government agency (aren’t they all), who investigate paranormal phenomena.

    Other members of Department 7 include the mysterious Martindale, who is supervisor of the unit. Should we trust him? Probably not. He is a complex character who leaves viewers uncertain as to his motives, and where his allegiance lies.

    Finally, we have Dr. Anne Reynolds, an old friend of Tom’s late wife, and someone whom he starts to fall in love with.

    I have to say, I was blown away by this series. I absolutely loved it. Like so many 1970s dramas, it is slow-moving and “talky”, but I really do not mind that. I believe it adds to the atmosphere.

    And speaking of atmosphere, the series was filmed on location in Edinburgh, which makes a nice change from London. The Edinburgh landscape plays a big part in the tone of the show. It has a grim, almost grubby look which I think heightens the bleak atmosphere.

    The casting is excellent. James Hazeldine – who passed away far too young – is wonderful as Tom Crane, and Louise Jameson, best known to cult TV fans from her stint in Dr. Who, is terrific as Anne Reynolds. Finally, John Carlisle is suitably untrustworthy as the morally ambiguous Martindale.

    With its themes of horror, sci-fi and conspiracy, with a touch of, ‘will they, won’t they’ thrown in, it is clear that the show is a very early forerunner to The X-Files, and it is a crying shame we only have one series of 10 episodes to enjoy.

    Mary Whitehouse, the famous ‘clean-up TV campaigner’, once described The Omega Factor as, “Thoroughly evil.”

    I think that is as good a recommendation as anything!